Wednesday, May 20, 2009
I am just finding myself overwhelmed yet again by the task of raising four daughters in this world. Generally I get through the days with my girls without fretting about such an arduous thing, but some days, I just become completely consumed with the fear of protecting my babies while giving them room to grow into the women I hope they grow into. Now I am not saying that raising a respectable son isn't a task to be taken lightly (and to be honest, I pray that mothers of sons are raising their sons to be respectable, considering someday my girls will be dating these boys), but it seems that to bring forth a daughter in this day and age is almost as if a special kind of burden (good burden of course) is placed upon the shoulders of her parents. With over-sexualized ideas and under stimulated self confidence in many young girls today, it is not surprising that we see people going down destructive paths. I have taken a lot of psychology in school, so I am too aware of the fact that in just a few more years, my oldest daughter is going to begin to pull away from me to find herself out there somewhere. This frightens me beyond belief. To me she will always be that wrinkly, beautiful little baby born as dawn broke on July 20th of 2002. As a matter of fact I feel this way about all of my girls. Their birth minutes imprinted in my mind as to keep them my babies forever. I protected them inside of my body, and nurtured them from my breast, taught them right from wrong as I see fit... and before I know it I am going to be sending them to the wolves of society hoping that I taught them well enough that they stay on the path and not stray too far from it. Gosh, sometimes I wish I could just hold their hands forever. I just pray that they hear me when they are too old and too cool to listen to me anymore. At the end of the day, all I really want for my wonderful daughters is for them to be as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside, and I pray everyday that I am helping build a foundation that shows them that they are worth much more than they could ever imagine. But until the day comes where they begin to spread their wings and step away from me, I will relish in the little things that make them my little girls... the kisses and hugs, the lap sitting and book reading... picking me a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers (most of them half-wilted)... the way they sometimes say the wrong thing thinking it is the right thing to say... their innocence at encountering new things... I will hold onto these minutes as long as I can, and while I'm at it I will throw in some life lessons also and pray to god they are listening hard enough to take something with them when Mommy is no longer their best friend.