Sunday, November 29, 2009

Abrya is SIX:)

There she is, Abrya Gweneth Rittersdorf, just a day old in her proud Daddy's arms...

And because it is her birthday I will keep with tradition and write all about my one and only botched homebirth... she was my transport baby:).

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays, and much to my dismay, the 2003 holiday was the only year I had to miss the traditional turkey around the table to wait for my very late baby. Ed and I were certain she was going to make her appearance any time. We decided to go out for dinner on Thanksgiving, which let me tell you, is not an easy feat. We ended up at Perkin's and probably ate some of the worst food possible, but while we were there I started feeling a little crampy... crampy enough for me to have to stop and think about the cramps. I had a feeling that that night might be the night. Thanksgiving was the 27th that year. Anyway, by the time we had gotten our oldest daughter to sleep *ERIN:)* it was late. I layed down and tried to sleep but was woken up repeatedly by contractions. I knew that this had to be "IT." However, the contractions were kinda weak, so I knew I had some time. I didn't bother to tell Ed that I was in labor until 6 in the morning, and he literally JUMPED for JOY at the news (we were waiting for a LONG time for labor to start:)). Well, we called Laura, our midwife. She came out, but much to our dismay, labor was taking forever... and it kept starting for a few hours and stopping and starting again.... you get the picture... and it was INFURIATING! It wasn't until around 8:30 PM on the 28th that labor REALLY picked up for me.... and let me tell you, it was the worst labor I have had to date. The back pain was unbearable. I knew something had to be wrong because with my first labor things went so smoothly that I had no desire to really scream out in pain, but with this labor it was all I could do to breath between contractions. I was bawling and screaming out; I was certain something was wrong. My midwife kept telling me that the baby had her head in a transverse position and that we had to wait for her to turn her head. Hours went by, and by 11:30 PM I was at the end of my rope. Laura broke it down for me and let me know that I could wait a few more hours and see if she would turn her head and then go to the hospital, or I could go to the hospital right now... either way, I was way too far into my labor for the epidural so I would have to endure the back labor no matter where I went. We opted for the hospital as I was exhausted. Laura stayed with our oldest daughter who had fallen asleep and Eddie took me to the hospital which was only five minutes down the road. I remember everything in just pictures from then on out. I remember walking into the emergency room of the hospital, and the lobby was dead. The nurses were watching television. When they looked up and asked what was wrong, I stated as calmly as possible that I was in labor... "YOU'RE KIDDING!" The nurse exclaimed... To which I said back "DO I LOOK LIKE I'M KIDDING?" They got me in a wheel chair and before I knew it I was in a hospital bed in the emergency room. The doctor on call came in with an ultrasound, and put the wand on my belly. He noted that the baby had a transverse head also and said to me "I am sorry Tara, I know you wanted a natural birth, but this baby needs to be taken by c-section right now!" That's when things really got scary, because not only was I in so much pain, I was about to have a c-section, which was the last thing I ever wanted to have to endure. Ed was very upset also, but we both understood. The nurses and doctors got up and started bustling around to get me up to the OR... but something happened. Abrya must have decided at that moment to turn her head because I got a sudden and STRONG urge to push, so I did. I remember the Doctor and the nurses all screaming at me "DON'T PUSH! DON'T PUSH!" to which I screamed back "I CAN'T HELP IT, SHE'S COMING!" and no sooner had I said that, and her little head popped out. I wish I could describe the look on the staffs faces at that moment, I think every jaw dropped. The doctor basically had time to grab a blue sheet to catch her before she was born. I looked at Ed just in time to see him burst into tears-which is saying alot because I have only seen him cry a handful of times in my whole life, and this was the only birth that he shed tears at... at 12:45 AM on November 29th... she was 8 lbs and 4 oz, 20 inches long. I just remember how small and beautiful she was. Her little hands were so precious to me. I am so happy to have her... my most painful labor brought me my beautiful little girl. She is so full of life and has such a fun personality. Happy Birthday Bry~! I love you:)

Abrya now:)

Monday, November 9, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Teenage Tara's Teenage Poetry

Yep... that's me... at 17:)
I thought by posting a teenage picture of me it would give people a visual of myself at this time of my life.
Today I was going through out filing cabinet and came across my book of poetry. I was an avid writer at this age (still am, but I generally write essays these days;)). My favorite was poetry. I wrote enough poems to fill a few books. It was like a walk down memory lane reading my poems. It has been so long since I walked down that road! And my goodness I have changed.
Here are a few of my favorites.
*This first one was inspired by my first time getting my heart broken*

Do I Hurt?
By Tara Lynne
Yes I do.
But someday,
As by and by I go,
I will reminice and be happy.
For as I let in I changed for the better...
We'll say so.
As of now, a waste of time it seems.
But as one molded one, one molded the other.
As a child drops a toy,
Shattered pieces of molded shape,
It can be rebuilt.
Maybe a small difference in appearence,
But the general idea makes her happy again,
As I will be happy again
When I can honestly realize we cannot be forgotten
On either part;
As we grow together,
Older, Wiser,
By Tara Lynne
A butterfly flirting with the wind,
A delicate sunset.
The birth of vernal equinox.
These words, my eyes have met.
To view autumn painting all the leaves,
Then mold it into word;
And once read over I can still taste
The fall, not seen, but heard.
They form eternal pictures
For everyone to see.
Of a world within mine eye
Whence my poem they gracefully read.
Thus pondering this notion,
I have come to find...
'Tis not the earth so beautiful,
But the beholder's mind.
My Love
*Dedicated to Eddie*
By Tara Lynne
A love so pure a love so true
It glitters like the rain
And guilds the heart just like a creek;
Flows within the vein.
It seeps so deep within the soul;
Like a fog rolls o'er land.
That it can be sensed within a touch;
A slight brush of the hand.
A love so pure a love so true
It ignites the day at start.
And love tastes love in lover's kiss
As sweet nectar of the heart.
Idle Day's
By Tara Lynne
What shall come of these idle days
And the time wrapped up within?
What shall come of these glorious moments
In which lingering we have been?
Where will all these minutes go
When today becomes the morrow?
Will they be filled with wonderful life;
Or be passed along with sorrow?
What shall come of these idle days?
Let today live and tomorrow be.
What shall come of these glorious moments?
As we live so shall we see.
My poems... It's been a long time since I retraced by steps down memory lane. I don't even know why I stopped writing them... You'd think I have all of the inspiration in the world now. Who knows? Perhaps my artist died with puberty...